A Requiem for Michael Jackson -- or -- The College Reunion Weekend

What is it about that Thomas Wolfe guy? You can't go home again? Of course you can! There is a weird phenomenon that occurs when two or more college friends reunite after many years -- if that isn't going "home" again, I don't know what is.

Instead of going to a shrink, I think middle-aged people like us just need to reconnect with the people who helped shape the person we ended up becoming. People you don't see very often anymore, but people that when you do see them - -end up making you feel better about yourself, about them, and about the world in general.

This weekend, we got together after way too many years. It happened as a fluke. If we had really worked to plan it, inevitably it would not have been what it was. And what it was, was a Laugh Fest, a Bitch Session, and perhaps most importantly -- a Requiem for the Gloved One. Yes, just as they did in The Big Chill, we had a soundtrack for the weekend -- The Essential Michael Jackson three disc set. ($15 at Target - -but sold out now. Too bad!! Shouldn't have waited, Cindy. A lesson for all of us).

Now, say what you will about Michael, but he also helped raise and shape us. We are the same age, after all, and many formative moments occurred to his voice over the last four decades. Some of us can imitate his moves (great moonwalk Brab!) and I tried to imitate his voice (just the little weird sounds, I'm not quite there, but still practicing, in case anyone was wondering), and many of us have the same memory of dancing to "Rock With You" so it was fitting that the weekend revolved as much around him as it did around us.

And thanks to Durn and her magic "polarized" hands, we all came away feeling less stressed. (Thanks for the neck massage, babes. I think you have a great future in holistic medicine and everything that goes into it. Let's just keep it between us that, of course, I was certainly the most stressed. The rest of them are just whiners).

Now everyone is back from whence they came -- Nashville by way of Lancaster, Michigan (a good buckeye hates to even type those letters), Columbus, etc....but thanks to the magic of social media and the inevitable Michael Jackson breaking news (right now CNN is reporting that Latoya says Michael was murdered. I thought Latoya was Michael!), we are still bound together. Love you guys. Love you, gloved one. Here's to us!

The Break Up

Okay, I now understand how it feels to be stalked. I am being stalked by Curves - -a workout circuit for women. Maybe I was not blessed with the commitment gene, but the way I look at it, this is a business transaction. They have my credit card number and I have the opportunity to get to their workout site in the LIMITED hours they are open. I knew the hours of operation before I joined, and I accepted the fact that if work got busy or my life got busy, the hours of the day might be filled with those things and I might miss Curves time. I was okay with this "open" relationship.



Well, evidently, Curves is not. First came the post card, asking where I was and if everything was okay. Excuse me? I only missed one week! And have only belonged three weeks. If you saved on printing and postage, you might be able to keep the damn place open more hours and I could get there after a long day at work. Or on a Saturday after noon. Or, on a Sunday.



Today the phone calls started. It is kind of pitiful. I never went into this intending to make a huge commitment. I was happy with the relationship as I viewed it -- enjoyable here and there, no ties, no binds. I mean, they have my financial commitment, right? But right away, within three weeks, the whining , the post cards, the phone calls.....what next? A private investigator?



I am an adult. I feel comfortable with my choices and if these choices include trips to Curves, or not, I think I can handle the consequences. I don't need "exercise friends" or "support calls" or anything other than the business transaction I entered into. We'll see how it goes. I may have to break up with Curves and forge a more relaxed relationship with the YMCA - -it is right down the street, about the same price, and has better hours for "lose the booty" calls.

Post Election Let Down, Except Palin Won't Go Away

So what is it about politics, anyway? Remember the good old days of 2008, when the election was still in full swing? Remember when McCain was a maverick, Joe was still a plumber and Sarah Palin was only annoying Wasilla? Remember Tim Russert?

Quite frankly, it hasn't been that fun since the Recession began. I mean, I try to do my part. I obsess over the Dow, watch its every move, I lost 40% of my 401k, just like we were supposed to, and when I couldn't take it anymore, I went out and bought a Coach purse to help jumpstart the economy. Now I'm just bored with it all and ready to move on....

So my theory is that the recent election season that lasted something like two hundred years and cost more than Mel Gibson's projected alimony thrust us all in a major let down -- so much so that Lehman Brothers failed and the banks and car manufacturers had to vie for attention by threatening to. Now that the ennui has ended, John Madden has announced his retirement and I actually re-potted the plant that lives on my desk in my office (the one that thrives under florescent lights and daily f-bombs) is this Armeggedon (and is this how you spell Armeggedon???). Probably not.

Thankfully, there exists a light at the end of the dark tunnel. Keith Olbermann is back on the air and I have discovered solonjoe.com. Like so many forgotten memories, reading solonjoe is like a flashback to the '80's.